*Warning--whiny, jumpy, annoying post below. Proceed at your own risk*
At what point in our lives does a birthday lose its magical glow? I suppose it's probably different for each person, but I believe every "adult" has experienced what I'm experiencing today.
I think it might have something to do with the fact that as a kid, a birthday is a very special day, and while you have to do some of your normal every day activities, there's cupcakes and balloons as well. You wake up to a special breakfast or get to stay up past your bedtime. And perhaps it's magical because you believe something changes on that day. Suddenly, you're a year older. One day changes everything.
But then, at some point, you begin to realize that really nothing changes. You may still get speical treats, but that day is the same as every other day. A week later, and you feel the same. Which may not be a bad thing--because at some point, you stop wanting to be older and the while the birthday changes the number, it doesn't actually effect how you feel--thereby lessening the significance.
I'm not really sure where I'm going with this. I am feeling somewhat melancholy today, but it's not because I feel neglected. I got flowers this morning and my best friend sent me a bucket of treats.
At the same time, today is nothing special. I'm nervous about tomorrow. I go in for a CT Myleogram, where dye is injected into my spine and x-rays are taken. I have to spend about 9 hours in the hospital. Or at least, I'm telling myself I'm nervous for sympathy. I actually think it's going to be fine, but I like the sad eyes I get when I say "9 hours in the hospital." I'm a sick person. And now I'm thinking I shouldn't have included that part, but whatever, we're all allowed to be sympathy whores here and there.
No big concluding thought, just asking that you don't buy into my desperate cries for attention. I don't really need it. I'm just having a bad day.
At what point in our lives does a birthday lose its magical glow? I suppose it's probably different for each person, but I believe every "adult" has experienced what I'm experiencing today.
I think it might have something to do with the fact that as a kid, a birthday is a very special day, and while you have to do some of your normal every day activities, there's cupcakes and balloons as well. You wake up to a special breakfast or get to stay up past your bedtime. And perhaps it's magical because you believe something changes on that day. Suddenly, you're a year older. One day changes everything.
But then, at some point, you begin to realize that really nothing changes. You may still get speical treats, but that day is the same as every other day. A week later, and you feel the same. Which may not be a bad thing--because at some point, you stop wanting to be older and the while the birthday changes the number, it doesn't actually effect how you feel--thereby lessening the significance.
I'm not really sure where I'm going with this. I am feeling somewhat melancholy today, but it's not because I feel neglected. I got flowers this morning and my best friend sent me a bucket of treats.
At the same time, today is nothing special. I'm nervous about tomorrow. I go in for a CT Myleogram, where dye is injected into my spine and x-rays are taken. I have to spend about 9 hours in the hospital. Or at least, I'm telling myself I'm nervous for sympathy. I actually think it's going to be fine, but I like the sad eyes I get when I say "9 hours in the hospital." I'm a sick person. And now I'm thinking I shouldn't have included that part, but whatever, we're all allowed to be sympathy whores here and there.
No big concluding thought, just asking that you don't buy into my desperate cries for attention. I don't really need it. I'm just having a bad day.
1 Comments:
Happy belated birthday..I know what you mean though, mine is in 18 days and even though it is a milestone bday I'm not to thrilled about it. No cake, no party hats and no candles..so who cares?
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