I'm a terrible housekeeper. Seriously, not only can I not keep up with EVERYTHING that needs to be done, I'm pretty damn lazy and unmotivated.
So, when my husband brings me a list on a white board this morning--a TO-DO list, I'm pissed. Really pissed. At him, of course. How dare he try to tell me what to do, to treat me like a child. Laundry, dishes..I call bullshit.
But then I realize, I'm not actually mad at him. I'm furious with myself. I don't work or earn any real income right now. For the first time in my life a literally have no money (having put every penny of my savings into the house) so I'm even more of a burden on my hard working Hubs.
Why is it so hard for me to contribute? Why is it so easy to play online or watch TV all day, while ignoring the needs of the household? And maybe that's why I was so mad this morning. I do need a list, a schedule, or I'm going to piss away the day. What the hell is going to happen when we have kids? Our kids will be in dirty clothes playing on the unvacuumed floor with cheerios in their hair. It will be disgusting. I DO NOT want that to happen.
Here's my resolution, an hour or an hour a half a day working on the house is not too much. It doesn't even have to be in a row. 15 minutes here to unload the dishwasher, 20 minutes there to wipe down the bathrooms. This, I can accomplish and stop feeling a free-loader. This, I can change.
So, when my husband brings me a list on a white board this morning--a TO-DO list, I'm pissed. Really pissed. At him, of course. How dare he try to tell me what to do, to treat me like a child. Laundry, dishes..I call bullshit.
But then I realize, I'm not actually mad at him. I'm furious with myself. I don't work or earn any real income right now. For the first time in my life a literally have no money (having put every penny of my savings into the house) so I'm even more of a burden on my hard working Hubs.
Why is it so hard for me to contribute? Why is it so easy to play online or watch TV all day, while ignoring the needs of the household? And maybe that's why I was so mad this morning. I do need a list, a schedule, or I'm going to piss away the day. What the hell is going to happen when we have kids? Our kids will be in dirty clothes playing on the unvacuumed floor with cheerios in their hair. It will be disgusting. I DO NOT want that to happen.
Here's my resolution, an hour or an hour a half a day working on the house is not too much. It doesn't even have to be in a row. 15 minutes here to unload the dishwasher, 20 minutes there to wipe down the bathrooms. This, I can accomplish and stop feeling a free-loader. This, I can change.
1 Comments:
AMEN sister.
I'm with you. I can't won't do housework. My husband does it. Yet I'm the one that works 50 hours a week..which lessens my guilt.
A list helps me...really it does.
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