Travels of Zow Zow
Friday, January 05, 2007
Waiting, and waiting
I got the phone call this afternoon. "We'll see you at 5:15 am. Check in on the second floor. And eating or drinking after midnight."

I try really hard not to freak out. I'm not the overly dramatic type. But there are moments, often at 2 am, when I do start to worry. Where I think about all of those horrible things that happened on ER. Or those crazy stories you hear on slow newsdays where the anaesthesia doesn't work and the woman lays paralyzed on the table, feeling every cut.

Wait, did I say I'm not dramatic. Oops..well, I'm usually not. But occasionally I indulge, especially as I realize how close I am to the day.

But on the other hand, do I lean towards the dramatic because I feel I should. Like I should take advantage of the situation and gain some sympathy. Everyone expects me to be nervous and scared...why am I not? Honestly, I've been through this type of thing (though not quite to this extent and certainly not with this type of recovery) before. I know what to expect. I know I'm a good patient and a good healer. I know the next few months will go quickly. I really don't feel scared.

Except I do. A little bit of me is terrified. I'll walk the dog tomorrow and it could be the last time I can. I'll walk down the stairs to go outside and wonder if I'll be able to get back up them. And let's not think about the catheter. I'm trying really hard to forget that little piece of plastic that I'll soon be intimately connected too. Ick.

Over the next few months, I'll probably be spending a lot of time reviewing books and movies, because well, that's what will be filling my time. I've got a great one for you (so great it deserves it's own entry), but I'll share the title, just because how could it NOT be a great book with a title like this: Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal.

Oh, and another suggestion: the Mintnight (yes that's how it's spelled) Snack milkshake at Cold Stone. Like a cold, liquid thin mint. OMG, I could drink one everyday! Go get!